Why You Should have 8 or more kids

When it comes to family size you are usually in one of 2 camps. camp 1 I don’t want any or just a few kids or camp 2 I want a lot of kids. Spoiler alert you will never guess which camp Deb and Myself were in when we started our family.

If you don’t know Deb and I are high school sweethearts. However, at our core we were very different people. I came from a family with several siblings. I had three siblings, all male. I was raised in a very competitive atmosphere. Sometimes dinner was survival of the fittest. If you were the last one to the table, hope you liked pop tarts. Deb has just two siblings but they are much older than her so she was raised most of her life like an only child. When we met both her siblings were married and had moved off with their own families.

One Day in our relationship the topic of how many kids we would want in our family arose. It is a question that will come to the surface in any serious relationship. After much debate we both agreed on.... Wait till the end for that answer....

There are a ton of reasons not to have a large family but today we are talking about why you should have a large family.

Reason number 1 Personal growth

When we are young just like everything else in life we are learning. Yes you can read the books and take courses but nothing truly prepares us like on the job training. But the big issue here is we will make mistakes. Just like a baby falls many times while learning to walk. A parent will fail many times while raising the first or second child. I personally believe this is why the first couple of kids are usually pretty tough individuals.

We didn’t fear, in the grand scheme of things the universe knew we would struggle in the beginning. It’s almost like the first kids are given super powers to help their development along the way. Despite our parental skill lacking's.

Most of our young life you are in “self mode.” What I mean by self mode is we are doing things to help ourselves. Such as school, athletics, career, relationships, and more. But when the first little replicas show up, a person will transition into “others mode.”

In “others mode” we spend more time working on helping others. We are helping others, and in a weird way, “others mode,” helps us in our own “self mode.” I guess the point here is we will grow faster in “self mode” when raising a family than we will just on our own. In most cases.

Reason number 2 Well Rounded Humans

When kids grow up in a large family they must learn things such as; sharing, caring for others, when to be quiet, respecting others, how to express themselves and much more.

Take sharing for instance there are books and tv shows about sharing. However in a large family you must learn to share or you cease to function in the group. Now when we are discussing sharing we are speaking about responsibility. For example Kohl and Alyssa when they could drive they helped Deb and myself in shuttling younger kids to events. Also making those quick runs to help when needed such as; going to the store.

Having many kids means they play together. Hence, when they get to school age they have already learned how to handle others. As older ones become more self-sufficient they tend to help the younger ones with things like school, sports, and general everyday tasks.

In large families younger children receive loving attention from not just two parents but many older siblings as well. If they fall down, many hands reach down to help them up. If they aim to accomplish a goal, whether it’s learning to throw a ball or succeeding at a school athletic event, many siblings are there to coach and assist them, and many voices then chime in to celebrate their victories.

When it comes to caring for others all of the older kids know how to do many things that most young parents don’t learn till they are in the thick of parenting. For example most every one of our kids know how to change a diaper. You would think this is just a simple task but ask a 23 yr old male to change his first ever diaper and watch fear destroy a grown man. Also when a little child gets sick it is one of the most helpless feelings a parent can have. In large families siblings have seen the younger ones ill and experiencing this at home will help them in a critical time later in their life.

For example Carrying the younger sibling to bed after he or she falls asleep watching tv and eating popcorn on the couch. It gives an older child a sense of pride and joy that only parents really know.

For the younger siblings the older ones are setting the examples. The little ones look up to the older ones especially if there is a significant gap in age. It is amazing to watch how an older child can be such a benefit to a young child.

Handling adversity is learned in a large family home. Just picking bathroom times can be a challenge. Kids in large families are forced to live with others even if they really don’t like being around that sibling all the time. Watching tv at our house can lead to all out war but they eventually have to learn to compromise. I don’t think many US Representatives and Senators democrat and republican grew up in large families they can not agree on anything. They have to learn to deal with other siblings' little quirks, attitudes, and hang ups. Corporations spend millions trying to teach grown adults these skills so people can have a safe work environment.

Humility is learned in a large family. Kids are forced to learn that the world does not revolve around them. Parents' attention is divided among all the children. A child will have to cope with the fact that they won’t be in the spotlight all the time.

Chores are the best way to learn humility. Chores break life down to the basics. Today we have so much stuff and so much noise. But spending 30 mins with your hand in warm soapy water scrubbing pots and pan is a great way to teach humility.

Chores also teach kids what they don’t want to do. If you don’t want to work hard in school and strive to do your best, chores are the answer. Some kids love to study more than others. However some kids hate to study. If grades are not good at our house we will increase the chore level and take little privileges away. Chores teach us what we do not want to do for a full time job.

Chores can actually be fun in a big family. Standing in front of the sink staring at a pile of dishes vs having a few siblings ready to battle the dishes together is more fun.

Reason #3 Power Couple

Deb and I’s first job everyday is raising kids. We have mini staff meetings. We discuss what course of action to take next in a given situation. Having many kids in the house has taught us that we need each other.

She depends on me and I depend on her. The kids have taught us humility in the home. Neither Her nor I am the greater. We are a single unit moving toward a common goal. This goal is outside of us and keeps us in “other mode”.

Having this mind set creates meaningful moments for us. Now just a few minutes of quiet time can last for what feels like much longer. We don’t necessarily seek to do grand tasks but we have been able to find the joy in the simple. The plop on the couch after a long day. They snuggle at 1 am after cleaning the house for the 9th time that day. The foot rubs after all day on a baseball field.

We have learned to find joy in the little moments. This keeps our focus small. One day at a time one task at a time. Keeping this focus keeps our relationship healthy.

In Conclusion

In our humble opinion these are just a few reasons to have a large family, not all just a few. There are many other reasons we did not mention. Such as just the sheer joy in the house, the fun, the activity, and yes even the tough times. Think about your best trips in your life, best vacations. Some of the things you remember the most are the failures, the tragedies on those trips.

I am reminded of a quote from a motivational speaker Less Brown. He says, “You can die in the bleacher or you can die on the field.” Raising a large family does feel like a constant battle. We personally are enjoying the struggles and the blessings. Life would just be too dull any other way. It just would not be a Full Life!